3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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