You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
