Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
