Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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