I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
