Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize