32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
