i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
