it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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