Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize