She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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