life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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