remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize