C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
