apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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