I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
