We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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