I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
