Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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