I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize