whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
