Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
