i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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