Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
