Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
