Nicole vs. Life
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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