When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize