I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
