I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
