Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
