I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
