so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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