he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i believe in u and ur pee
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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