I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
