'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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