Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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