You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
