Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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