This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
