this just has baby written all over it
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
