is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
