I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
