Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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