But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
