my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
