Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
and you fell through a lawn chair
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
