Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
pop tarts are not kleenex
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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