dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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