Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
