I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
