Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
