Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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