Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
