around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
