I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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