I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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