gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
