Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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