FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
